The Recording Artist Business Plan: Why You’re Wasting Your Time

It’s Saturday morning at 3:32 am. I wasn’t out partying tonight. I am working on my music. But I am not “in the studio” per say.  I am doing the side of music that most artists ignore: the actual business.

I have been putting out music since 2011. My music is pretty good. How do I know that? About 3 million+ people have told me. Most of them between the ages of 13-17 & 25-35. The 13-17 age group is mostly females, about 58%.  The 25-35 age group is 75% male. A good portion of them are in Los Angeles, New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia and Houston.

How do I know my demographic? I think the better question is, how could I not? How can I sell to my demographic if I don’t know who is listening?

The music industry is just like any other business. And it always baffles me having conversations with other artists who have never sold a record in their life that think they know everything about the music industry. I’ve said it before. Most of these musicians are “cocky for no reason, don’t know what they are doing, never sold 10 albums in their life” ass rappers. Peep game.

I have worked with tons of artists in the recording process. Some have been signed to small labels. Some have never been signed. Some are more talented than I am and some are simply awful.

I am one of the only one that makes money off of my music.

The mindset of most people I come into contact with is always the same:

Every song is a “hit song.”

Every album is better than the last.

No other artist is “as good as them.”

They are SOOOO talented they don’t understand how they aren’t famous yet.

This song is the one that is going to get them signed. This is the one that is going to blow up and go viral.

 

blah blah blah…

 

The worst part is everyone thinks they’re right and that they have made hit after hit. But a hit isn’t a hit unless millions of people hear it, right? I could throw statistics and logic at them all day, try to help, give them tips, but they continue to shrug it off and keep doing it the way they have always done it. Make a song, put it out, hope it blows.

The truth is, there are so many ways to make money off of music and you do NOT need to be famous or signed to a major label to make it. It’s one of the biggest misconceptions in music right now. The problem is that most people have this notion that if they put out enough good songs, one of them will be good enough to just go viral by itself, and they will capitalize off their fame. They think the formula is make a hit song and 3 million dollars just gets plopped right in front of your face and you are good for life. They hear these success stories about a dude getting found rapping on the corner and getting signed to MMG the next week (true story).

These are rare scenarios. It doesn’t work like that. Songs like “Panda” by Desiigner typically just don’t go viral on SoundCloud. It’s more calculated.

Record labels are not making much on album or single sales right now. People pirate and download music for free. Most record labels are handing out 360 deals (i’m not going to go into details, look it up, because if you don’t know what that is, that is part of your problem.)

Most record labels won’t touch you unless you have a massive social media following and the ability to sell out small to average size venues. Here is the truth that you need to swallow:

IT DOESN’T FUCKING MATTER HOW GOOD YOU THINK YOUR PRODUCT/SONG IS. EVERYBODY THINKS THEY HAVE THE BEST SONGS OR THEY WOULDN’T BE DOING IT. PERIOD.

Your following, business model, and fan engagement mean everything. Donald Trump could put out a rap song right now and would make more in 24 hours than you ever will doing music. His song could be absolutely horrible. But it will sell. Why? Because he’s the President of the United States of America and he has a huge following. He could have done this before he was the POTUS.  It doesn’t matter whether or not his following was built on music. It’s there and people watch him every single day because of the brand he has built for himself.

So how do we build this brand & following and get people to listen to our tracks as solo artists? And how does that transform into money? I am going to lay out some tips for you. So pay attention. All the blogs that give you step by step directions are fucking bullshit. “if you pay $400 to get an article on XXL a million people will see it!! If you pay $3,000 to get on the front page of World Star you will blow up.” It’s all BS.

It comes down to a GREAT PRODUCT and a combination of building up your social media while monetizing your product.

First and foremost, yes, you do need a product. And yes, it has to be mixed, mastered and somewhat musically inclined. Genre does not matter. You have to be able to BE SOLD. You have to have a brand. An image. If you don’t, you aren’t going to get anywhere.

Pro Tip: Building your social media following DOESNT MEAN SPAMMING YOUR MUSIC. There is nothing worse than someone you have never talked to or don’t know telling you to check out there new music video or mixtape. No thanks. You need to be on social media engaging fans, getting to know people, asking them questions, and going on live video to talk to them. And you need to do this EVERY DAY. I could talk all day about social media following, but if you have further questions about building, feel free to reach out and I’ll try to answer everyone. Below is what has worked for me and will work for you if you are consistent and have a QUALITY product. If you’re music and brand is shit, you could do this all year and not get anywhere.

#1. Distribute your ORIGINAL music.

TuneCore and CD Baby are two distribution sites that allow you to release your music independently and keep the profits. YOU NEED TO DO THIS. It baffles me how many people just put out music on SoundCloud and YouTube over and over again. They record tracks over already famous beats. They refuse to put out original work. YOU CAN’T MAKE MONEY OFF OF YOUR MIXTAPE UNLESS YOU ARE LITERALLY SELLING IT ON THE STREET. AND IF YOU ARE USING INDUSTRY BEATS & INSTRUMENTALS, IT’S ILLEGAL!

Tunecore and CD Baby automatically distribute your music to every major streaming platform in existence, from iTunes to whatever the hell they use in every other country to stream. This will get your music in the mix with every professional artists that puts out music. It will also distribute your music to Spotify automatically. They will also give you statistics as to who is downloaded and who is listening. It is important to know this so you can spend your marketing and promotion money wisely.

I currently make more money on Spotify than I do on any other platform. When I released my first album, The Contradiction, (which you can find on iTunes, Spotify, Google Play, etc … shameless plug) I had one track on the EP that was very relatable. The beat was epic and the song connected with my audience. The song is called “Enough.”

People started to compare me to other artists and I could see based on this information where my fans were coming from. I started getting added to major playlists with artists like Big Sean, G Eazy, Drake, and J Cole. When people do that on Spotify, it is GOLD.

GET YOUR MUSIC INTO BIG PLAYLISTS ON SPOTIFY!! THIS IS HUGEEEEE!

How? Reach out to people you know. Find the big playlists on Spotify. Reach out to Spotif curators. Find music bloggers with big playlists. Send emails. Make phone calls. DO RESEARCH. When you finally get in contact with these people, don’t go in for the kill immediately, Engage them first. Then, give your best sales pitch. If they like your music, they may give you a shot. More streams = more revenue. If you would like a step by step guide to this check the link below. I advise giving your email because the information CD Baby provides you about Spotify playlists is unmatched by anything else I’ve read on the internet:

https://members.cdbaby.com/campaigns/request-spotify-playlist-guide.aspx?Source=PLAYLISTING-MEMWEB&Dest=https://www.pages04.net/discmakers-cdbaby/CDBabyProspects_MASTER/SpotifyPlaylisting_Guide

#2. Create good album/single covers and great YouTube visuals.

You want to find cover art that draws attention. Hire a good graphic designer. EVERY FUCKING RAPPER IN THE WORLD PUTS TOGETHER MIXTAPE COVERS AND ALBUM COVERS THAT HAVE CARS AND JEWELRY ON IT. How do you expect people to take you seriously if you are an unknown artist doing the same exact thing? Make sure the quality of your cover doesn’t look like it was put together by your brother or cousin.

Music Videos and skits on YouTube are huge. Be creative. The best part about this is you do not need to just have music videos that you are shelling out hundreds of dollars per video on. Simply previewing tracks from your phone, singing live, video blogging, or doing something fun or controversial on YouTube can generate thousands, even millions of views. Monetize those views and you have another source of income. Read up and google how to monetize your videos to increase profits. You can find a story of a teacher who started twerking on YouTube and was able to quick her job because from simply twerking she simply makes over 100k per year. Good stuff.

#3. Collaborate with artists that have similar following or bigger following than you.

You will trade fan bases and draw their fanbase to you. Even if you only have 100 fans each, collaborating will give you 200. Do this over and over again with different artists. More fans=more sales. Period. Find someone that fits the mold of your business plan, reach out to them and let them know you are a fan and really like their music. After engaging, see if they’d like to collaborate. There has to be an incentive for both people.

#4. Remix popular songs.

Want to know how I eclipsed 2 million views on SoundCloud? I took a song early on in it’s discovery that I KNEW WAS GOING TO BLOW UP. The song was Russ’s track “What You Want.” I loved it and the beat fit my style. I downloaded the beat, chopped up Russ’s vocals, and made a section for myself to rap over. I put it on SoundCloud/YouTube. The song started getting added to major playlists all over SoundCloud and I am now getting 10-15k spins per week.

YOU CANNOT MAKE MONEY THIS WAY unless you get clearance to either remix or cover a song. However, there is a much bigger chance of these types of tracks going viral if done right because the song is already popular and people are already searching it. They accidentally stumble upon you and your remix of the track.

Doing this will help you generate more fans in your genre and even outside of it. There are a lot of YouTube stars that get famous off of doing covers and make money doing it as well. Do this every week or two to keep fan retention. It keeps audiences engaged and relates you to some of their favorite artists. Can’t beat that.

#5. Collect your fans emails using a site like Constant Contact or MailChimp.

And if you can’t afford it, use GMAIL. It really doesn’t matter. Just build your email list!! When I first started, I built my following by simply sending my friends emails. The tracks were good and I started gaining traction due to word of mouth. You need direct communication with your fans and you need to keep them up to date, send them new material, show them your blogs, etc. Over the span of 2-3 years you will have so many emails that you will be able to find super fans. These fans will engage with you every single time you post and email and they will buy your product. THIS IS HUGE FOR PRODUCERS THAT SELL BEATS!!! You can have competitions that engage fans, sell merchandise, announce album releases, etc.

#6. Play Live Shows

Practice performing! Small crowds first, big crowds later. If you leave an impression and bring merchandise and physical CDs, people will buy them. Even if it’s for $5 a pop! Shows are memorable and give you an opportunity to create a fan for life. And guess what? If you have 500 fans after 2 years of promoting, and all of those fans pay $10 an album… well….you do the math.

Pro Tip: Make a list of venues that play to your demographic. Search for and make a list of emails and phone numbers of managers and venue owners. You will need to put together a press kit and send it out to those people. If you do not know what a press kit is, please google it. It makes life much easier and gives venues the opportunity to see your brand and listen to your music conveniently in one place, quickly. If they like you, work something out and put a show together.

Side Note: You will have to play some free shows to start. But DO NOT EVER PAY TO PLAY.

I REPEAT, NEVER PAY TO PLAY! NOWHERE! THIS IS A SCAM.

There are so many bullshit showcases where people say major A&R’s will be there and you could get signed and blah blah blah. They are selling you a dream. They give you tickets, you sell the tickets and put up money and it goes right in the A&R’s pocket. They don’t care about your music because they don’t sign artists at these shows. If anyone even gets a 2nd look, it’s rare.  The only way you have a chance at pay to play showcases is if you literally sell out the entire venue. But if you were already selling out venues, you wouldn’t pay to play anywhere.

Once you have generated a buzz, you can book your own shows and set your price or even hire a booking agent to do so on your behalf.

Also, never oversell yourself to the venue to cash in. You do not want to burn a bridge by asking for $1000 bucks on a Wednesday promising you can pack the venue and have 6 people show up. They will never hire you again.

#7 Submit Your Music To Pandora!!

How do you get people to listen to your tracks accidentally? Pandora. You have to submit to Pandora and your songs may or may not get excepted. They put your submissions and tracks into what’s called the “Human Genome Project.” The system and curators take a listen to the lyrics and the beats and all the factors that go in to making a song. They want to see if you sound relatable to what songs are currently hot.

Be patient because it can take a couple months for them to get back to you. Pandora is strict with who they accept, and unless your song sounds like what is currently trending, it may get rejected. But if the quality is there and it is in line with radio standards, they will put you in the mix with similar artists. I regularly show up on Drake, J Cole, & G Eazy radio.  People find me by accident. They look me up. Then, they may either stream my songs or albums on Spotify, or, if they like it enough, they will buy my songs on iTunes or Google Play. Tons of possibilities once you get on Pandora.

#8. Respond to your fans.

Do not think you are bigger than your fans. They are the reason you exist. Respond when they email. Respond when they comment on YouTube or IG. Respond when they DM you on Twitter. They take time out of there day and are reaching out to let you know they enjoy and relate to what they heard. The least you can do is thank them and let them know you appreciate it. They will continue to listen if you do so. Be genuine.

#9. If something isn’t working, change it.

Down the road, changes will need to be made. This is all trial and error. If you are not gaining traction, the product simply isn’t where it needs to be. It isn’t good enough and that is a hard truth to swallow. Try a new style. Try something different with your voice. Make a new image for yourself. It won’t happen overnight. Most successful artists are a decade in the making.

#10. You might not be as good as you think.

I can’t stress enough that music isn’t for everyone. If you have been putting everything you can into the business side and aren’t getting anywhere, the cold hard truth is your product is not good. Which simply means your brand and your music are bad. Mom is not going to tell you and neither are your friends. Your audience will dictate your worth. If you are doing your job and getting the music out there and nothing is coming of it, you have to be able to accept this truth and move on.

 

What to do now?

This is what has worked for me over the span of 8 years of trail and error. I know it can work for you as well. Stick to your guns. Distribute original music. Remix major songs. Engage with fans. Change what isn’t working.

You need to concentrate on the business side of the music industry if you want to be successful. All the tools are out there for you to succeed. The internet can be your best friend.

This is a business. It is your baby. You need to be active DAILY. Not weekly, not monthly. DAILY. There are millions of artists out there. Nobody is going to care about your business as much as you do. So take it seriously!!!!

 

Make it happen!

 

– That Boy A.B.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Philadelphia 76ers will make the playoffs this season. Easily.

#TrustTheProcess

The phrase has been uttered over and over again for years. The Sixers were stock piling draft picks, tanking seasons and putting scrubs on the floor year in and year out. For the first time since Allen Iverson left the 76ers, there is hope in Philadelphia. Want to know which NBA team has sold more season tickets than any other team in the NBA? It’s not the Warriors or The Cavs. Yup! The 76ers fan base has just about sold out all 41 home games. Can you say “home court advantage”?

With Paul George going from Indiana to OKC, the Western Conference once again added a top 15 player, draining the life out of the Eastern Conference. The Pacers finished 42-40 with PG on the roster and secured the 7th seed in the Eastern Conference last year, putting them in a position that no other team in the east truly wanted to be in: They had to face Cleveland and LeBron James in the first round of the playoffs. Without PG, their playoff chances disappear and they drop out of playoff contention.

Chicago finished at 41-41 and squeaked into the 8th seed. They just traded Jimmy Butler to the Timberwolves, another Western Conference team, who finished 31-51 last year. Rajon Rondo is gone as well. All signs point to the Wolves being able to secure a playoff spot next year in the West with Butler, Wiggins, and Karl Anthony-Towns all playing at very high levels.

The Bulls and Pacers will likely miss the playoffs this year, even in an awful and undermanned Eastern Conference. The 5th and 6th seed Atlanta Hawks and Milwaukee Bucks have yet to do anything in free agency. Both teams finished slight above .500, again, in a very weak eastern conference.

Somewhere in the United States, Sam Hinkie is drinking Jameson on the rocks, grinning from ear to ear and texting his buddy Joel Embiid.

The Sixers finished the 2016-2017 season with a record of 28-54. The team played most of last season with what I will kindly call “backups”. Backups with a lot of heart, but ultimately backups. In fact, the only player that may be returning as a starter this year is Robert Covington, who aside from Dario Saric was one of the lone bright spots for the 76ers. Last year, he averaged 13 points, 6.5 rebounds, 2 steals and 1 block per game. He was everywhere defensively, made some big shots, and should improve with better players around him. He finished 4th in the Defensive Player of the Year voting.

The Sixers starting lineup was SO BAD last year and their offense so atrocious, that their starters averaged a total of 51 points per game. Compare that to the Brooklyn Nets, who had the worst record in the NBA last season. Their starters averaged 54 points per game.

Fast forward to the 2017-2018 season. Ben Simmons and Joel Embiid are expected to be on the court together for the first time since they were drafted. It will be the first time they are both healthy and looking to play 70-80 games in a season. Glorious.

Let’s break down the 76ers young talent and play the guessing game.

We quickly forget that Ben Simmons was one of the most prolific players to come out of college in recent memory. I’ll tell you who didn’t forget: Any team that played against Simmons in the pre-season last year and witnessed first hand his highlight reel passes and court vision.

We had known about Simmons for several years, as did the rest of the NBA, and had been preparing to get him. As fate had it, we got the #1 pick. We took the Australian from LSU. Ben Simmons has a rare combination of size, strength, and vision. Simmons is 6’10, 238 lbs, unstoppable in transition, and already touted as one of the best passers in the league. In only a handful of preseason games last year, it was immediately apparent that his court vision was 2nd to nobody. He made some passes that I haven’t seen anybody in the NBA make since Jason “White Chocolate” Williams was on the court. The difference is, Williams is 6’1. Ben is the size of a PF.

The one knock against him is his jump shot, which he has been working to improve. He averaged 19 points, 12 rebounds and 5 assists at LSU in his lone college season. He shot 56% from the field, but any expert knows his jumper needs some tweaking and in today’s NBA, that can be a liability.

Joel Embiid was one of the best players in the league when he was on the court last year. His minutes were limited, but his scoring numbers per 36 minutes were 4th best in the NBA last season, behind only Russell Westbrook (who won this year’s MVP award) , Anthony Davis, and DeMar DeRozan.

And lets not forget, Embiid is a 7’0 big man can shoot the 3 ball. He would have been the #1 draft pick in his class were it not for his back injury. Yes, #1 over Wiggins and Jabari Parker. No question. Any expert will tell you that. He put these numbers up with TJ McConnell running the point guard position. Not exactly your Chris Paul caliber player.

Knowing that they needed a true point guard, as well as one that could play off the ball if they wanted Simmons to handle the rock, the Sixers made a power move to get the #1 pick in this year’s draft by way of trade with the Boston Celtics. Markelle Fultz was taken with that pick. It is said that in this draft class, it was Markelle Fultz* and everybody else. He was regarded as the clear cut best player. Markelle is a 6’4 PG who can create his own shot and play off the ball. He also excels defensively and has a 7’0 wing span. He fits their current roster perfectly. He can play off the ball and is as a pure point guard as you’ll ever see. He has been touted as the best point guard prospect since Kyrie Irving.

Let’s not forget Dario Saric, who is coming off of a season where he easily could have been the rookie of the year. Many people feel he was snubbed.

I wouldn’t go as far as saying Saric surprised people, but he definitely outplayed his draft position. The risk was all about when he would come play NBA ball from overseas. Orlando drafted Saric at #12 in 2014 and traded him to the 76ers for Elfrid Payton, which looking back was the steal of the 2014 draft.

Saric will most likely be the 6th man for the 76ers, coming off the bench in place of Simmons and/or Robert Covington. Yes, last year’s runner up for ROY will most likely start the season on the bench. That speaks volumes to the talent of the 76ers starting five.

But wait, there’s more!

The Sixers recently went out and signed JJ Redick, a top 5 shooter in the league, to a one year, 23 million dollar contract. This gives them the ability to meet the cap criteria and not lock themselves in to a long term contract. They also signed Amir Johnson to a 1 year, 11 million dollar contract. Both players are a veteran presence who can stretch the floor and shoot over 39% from three. They needed shooters and they needed them badly. They also needed veteran presence to help coach up and push the young guys. They got both of that in Redick and Johnson.

Getting lost in all of this mess is Jahlil Okafor. After averaged 17.5 PPG and 7 Rebounds in his rookie year, the 76ers seem to have lost some hope in Okafor. One of the most talented big men in the league offensively, Okafor lacks pure grit and has been scrutinized by the Sixer’s fan base and media. He seemingly gives zero effort on the defensive end and saw a major drop off in rebounds last year, averaging under 5 rebounds per game. That is inexcusable for a guy standing  6’11, 271 lbs. He will come off the bench this year and will more than likely be traded at some point to a team that needs an offensive big. The hope is that at 21 years old, he can be coached up give effort on the defensive end and become a better rebounder. The 76ers need to get something for Jahlil while they can.

All that being said, let’s put the playoff chase into perspective.

You have your usual suspects at the top of the Eastern Conference. Cleveland and Boston will be the 1 and 2 seed whichever way you look at it. Both are still looking to make moves in free agency and are getting better. Boston is making a run at Gordon Hayward. That move, if it happens, would make them the favorite to stand atop the Eastern Conference. Danny Ainge has been dropping the ball left and right this year in free agency, so nothing is certain and I am hearing that Hayward prefers Miami over Boston.

The Raptors and Wizards back courts are both strong enough to carry them to another 3 and 4 seed. With new deals reportedly being agreed to, Kyle Lowry (3 year, $100 million) and Serge Ibaka (3 year, $65 million) will resign with the Toronto Raptors.

The Wizards have too strong of a core to see a major fall off anywhere and I do not seen them being dethroned of the 3 or 4 seed unless a major free agent signing impacts the East. I see the Wizards improving from last season, and John Wall and Bradley Beal cruising to a 3 seed with the help of Marcin Gortat and Otto Porter Jr. Porter Jr has been offered a max contract by the Kings, and the Wizards are expected to match it. He is only 24 years old and is an up and coming star in Washington.

After that, you have the Atlanta Hawks and the Milwaukee Bucks, last years 5th and 6th seeds respectively. The Hawks are about to lose their best player in Paul Millsap. Word around the league is that he is leaning toward Denver. (Update: Denver has agreed to terms with Millsap. 3 years, $90 million). Dwight Howard, although not even a shadow of what he used to be, is gone as well. They lost Korver to the Cavs last year. They will fall out of playoff contention with their current lineup.

The Bucks have a great young core and should secure the 5 seed in the East. Giannis Antetokounmpo is one of the best young players in the league and will be an MVP candidate in the next 3-4 years, maybe sooner. They just signed Tony Snell to play along with an already great back court that includes Jabari Parker. Malcolm Brogdon won ROY last year and will continue to improve.  Jason Kidd has done a great job developing his team and they are looking strong for the future.

After that, it’s anybody’s game. We can throw in Miami, who came on strong at the end of the year but missed the playoffs. The development of Justice Winslow and Tyler Johnson are the biggest factors in this teams playoff chances, but that is no guarantee. However, if they are able to lure in Gordon Hayward, the combination of him and Hassan Whiteside will be a force in a weak eastern conference and may even allow them to secure a 3 or 4 seed over the Raptors or Wizards. Without Hayward coming to Miami, the Sixers talent pool far outweighs the Heat’s, and it’s not even close.

The Nets, Magic, Knicks, Pacers, Pistons, and Hornets will be out of contention again, barring some miraculous Knicks turnaround. None of these teams made any major improvements that would catapult them to a contender. None of them have any star power aside from the Knicks, who no matter what still seem to be awful year in and year out. Maybe now that Phil Jackson is gone that changes, but they are still one of the most embarrassing and underperforming teams in the league. It is not a given that Carmelo Anthony is on this team when the season starts either.

The Sixers can be the 7th or 8th seed in the playoffs this year. If Embiid and Simmons can stay healthy, I will guarantee it.

Here is the 76ers projected starting lineup:

Markelle Fultz, PG

JJ Redick, SG

Ben Simmons, F

Robert Covington, F

Joel Embiid, C

—————————–

Top Bench Players:

Dario Saric, SF/PF

Jahlil Okafor, C

Amir Johnson, PF

Timothe Luwawu-Cabarrot, F

T.J. McConnell, G

 

Watch out Eastern Conference, you are officially on the look out. The Sixers are coming, and when Philly is excited about basketball, there is no better place to play, and no harder arena to play in.

#SamHinkieDiedForOurSins

#TrustTheProcess

#TheFeds

#BrettBrownGetsHisShot

 

-That Boy A.B.

 

 

 

 

How To Avoid The Ultimate “Fuck Girl”

Girls Sucking Social Media

A lot has been made in the past year about females and the attempts to stay away from “fuck boys”. In doing so, many have failed to realize that there is indeed such thing as “fuck girls” and that they themselves might be considered one by many.

You know them. They live near you. You see them frequently “thotting for likes” on Facebook. You see them hitting on guys for free drinks at the local bar. This blog post will examine 5 types of fuck girls and how to spot them so you can avoid the drama that comes along with the her existence.

5. The “Post All My Feelings on Facebook” Fuck Girl:

We all know this fuck girl and we cringe when she posts…but we never unfollow. It’s entertaining for all the wrong reasons. She is in touch with her feelings in the worst way possible and wants everyone to know. Her wall is full of memes that she feels relates to her life and they all involve some kind of message that preaches “keep your head up, things will get better.” And for most people they do, unless of course you are this type of fuck girl. She’s an emotional wreck with 0 real friends. Everything comes out on her posts and theres always one or two “fuck boys” that tell her it will be OK and to text or call them if they need to talk. Whatever you do, STAY AWAY FROM THIS FUCK GIRL unless you are absolutely desperate.

4. The “Grass Is Always Greener” Fuck Girl:

This fuck girl is the one that hops from boyfriend to boyfriend and changes her groups of friends every 2 months. Her motto is “get in where you fit in” but she never fits in because she is a superior fuck girl. She’s had 243 different groups of friends since she was a freshman in high school and they all hate her. She will get into detail about how she was done wrong by each group and its never her fault. She is also the girl that leaves her current boyfriend for a new one every couple months because “the grass is always greener” and there is just “something about him”. Every time there is a break up, however, she goes back to her original ex that she’s been on and off with seemingly her whole life. Stay away from this fuck girl, she will run you dry, suck up all of your pride and manhood and be on to the next.

3. The “Waiting For A Rich Guy” Fuck Girl.

This fuck girl has probably been bartending or waitressing for 10+ years and spending all of her money to make sure her looks defy her age and denying her expiration date.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am not putting down the profession. I’ve been a waiter and a bartender and I hated it an I respect the bullshit they have to deal with. I am talking about the ones with no plan at all but to have a rich dudes babies. The ones that are 30+ and think they can serve until they are 60 as long as they get face lifts and fake tits. These fuck girls have no future and are waiting for a filthy rich guy in his 40’s to come along and take care of them for the rest of their life. But because of her insecurities from working in the industry for so long, she has yet to and probably will never find a real man that has shit going for him. Men with a plan don’t trust these fuck girls. Looks expire, babe.

2. The “Blow A Paycheck on EDM Concerts” Fuck Girl.

One of my favorites. You can’t win an argument with this fuck girl. “EDM IS LIFE”…. “SLEEP, EAT, RAVE” blah blah. She gets belligerently drunk every time she goes out and argues with bouncers. This chick saves her entire checks from her minimum wage job so she can blow $800 on concert tickets, molly, and hotels up to 6 times per year. She forever claims “Experiences mean more to me then material” but her only experience is taking long ass car rides to get fucked up and roll her face off in big playgrounds because she has nothing better to do with her life. She has no goals, no ambition, and usually has a serious fuck boy boyfriend that goes with her to these things.  These girls are brain dead by the time they are 28 and lose their train of thought quicker than most fuck girl, but they can be fun to hang out with from time to time.

1. The “Thottin’ For Likes” Fuck Girl:

This fuck girl is the ULTIMATE fuck girl. Her world is revolved around Likes, Retweets and Comments. She spends hours finding the right angles for her pictures and is considered to be “IG famous”, whatever the fuck that means. She calls herself a model and has booking information on her pages but doesn’t actually make any money at all. She will forever take $100 gigs that consist of her standing around looking pretty for 4-6 hours somewhere in Atlantic City or Las Vegas. This is the girl that posts a picture of her bare ass and tits all over social media and then has the nerve to get mad when you hit her in the DM. She may even occasionally post a screen shot of someone hitting her up that rubbed her the wrong way.  You know, the “this is what I deal with on a regular basis” shit cleverly letting everyone know her messages are full and then tries to justify that she has morals and should be treated like a lady and not an object. Also known as the “men are fucking pigs” and “why can’t i find a good man” fuck girl. She swears she’s not a slut but hangs out with all of your city’s known sluts. This is fuckery in its purest form and she caps our list as the ULTIMATE fuck girl.

 

Leave your thoughts, comments, and hateful remarks on this article and make sure you share it to the fuck girls you know!

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@iamthatboyab

 

 

Why I Left Cherry Hill

It was March of 2014. My alarm went off at 7:00 a.m. Usually I would hit the snooze button to get every second of sleep possible before rolling out of bed, putting on this dreaded shirt and tie, and driving 50 minutes up I-95 to sit at the car dealership for another 12 hour work day. But this was another one of those days where I had to get up at the time my alarm clock requested, due to the fact there was about 2 feet of white snowy shit covering my driveway and sidewalk. Let the fun begin.

I had lost about 15 pounds since I first started working at the dealership. I appreciated the new shape of my jawline when I looked into the mirror. Being skinny wasn’t all that bad. I could finally see my abs and I wasn’t even working out. Must have been the combination of adderal to wake up and pain killers to go to sleep. That can really curve ones appetite.

I was making more money at this point then I knew what to do with. I wasn’t rich by any means. I just had more money than I was used to. Combine that with the fact that I was still living at home with my mom. I always excelled quickly in the work place and the dealership was no different. Car sales was a new venture for me. I sold 20 cars a month my first month selling full time. 25 my second month. I could see where this was going. The great, successful, and enjoyable path of car sales. Yay.

Saturday’s were filled with texting my connect all day trying to set up a meeting for when I got off work. Afterwards, I would head into Philly and maybe hit a local strip club. Occasionally, I had a performance lined up with my music crew, where we’d get completely annihilated, go on stage, fuck shit up, and let our dicks hang the rest of the night. I would do drugs and drink until about 4 in the morning. As my body got used to pain killers, I’d wake up with less and less of a hangover every time. I wasn’t living for any kind of purpose. My days got repetitive. I was consistently uninterested in what was going on around me. The reality was that I was fucking numb. I had less time to pursue music. Music was the one thing that woke me up in the morning and made me excited to get my day started. It made me happy. It gave me purpose. And in the months prior to that specific situation, my music had gotten temporarily stripped away from me due to a horrible relationship with an ex girlfriend that I won’t get into at this time. I let my current situation affect my mental state so much that I just completely dropped everything I had worked for for 4 years. That’s another story that I will go through at another time.

One Sunday, after waking up around noon, I looked in the mirror and started wondering what had happened to me. It was July 2014. I had been working at the dealership for about 4 months. I was 25 years old, making around $7500 per month, working about 60 hours a week between drive time and work time. My GM gave me high praise on a regular basis and was excited about my potential. I “followed directions.”  I “did what he asked.” I worked hard. Besides the “working hard” part, this was definitely not me. By nature, I was a defiant asshole who always questioned why I was asked to do certain things that people considered “normal.” If you couldn’t give me a logical reason or explanation as to why something should be done, you can bet your ass I’m not going to do it. I was forcing myself into a professional setting in order to align myself with social standards. When I was actively and ruthlessly pursuing my music career, this type of job was what my mom referred to as “having a plan B.” One day, I snapped out of it, and I said, “FUCK PLAN B.”

I had visited LA once in my life. I knew immediately that California was different. After experiencing it in 2012, I could not get my mind off going back and eventually living there. I had a friend who I had done music with tell me to come out to San Diego. I told him find a place. He notified me when he did, I sent him a security deposit, packed all my shit and bought a one way ticket. When I informed my boss of my decision, he told me I was on the verge of becoming the next finance manager. “That’s $150,000 a year”, he said. “That’s fine”, I said. “I don’t want to sell cars for the rest of my life.”  I left September 4th, 2014.

Moving to California saved my life.

California is different for many reasons. But as I have gotten used to what life is like on the other side of the country, away family and friends, these are some of the things I have come to realize:

I have seasonal depression. My body shuts down in the winter. Needless to say, the east coast wasn’t for me. It’s 75 and sunny in San Diego almost every day. Crazy what a change of weather can do for your mind.

There seems to be more opportunity here. I don’t know if it’s due to the fact that I am taking more chances or if there are just tons of start up companies that have funding and pay well, or if there are people that are more open to helping you. I have worked my way into a great position with a great company. I have broken through my chains of limitations. I have learned that I am completely unafraid of failure now that I am out here alone.

My work/life balance is amazing. I’m not working 60 hours a week. I actually like my job and I also have time to pursue music. I dropped my first album in November 2014 and for the first time in 5 years I am actually making money off doing something I love. I have songs that are trending on digital platforms. I have my own Pandora station. I am selling records.

I’m not doing drugs anymore. I drink socially, and that’s about it. I have removed myself from a toxic situation, involving friends I grew up with and ex girlfriends that had done be wrong and vice versa.  It is so hard to break free from your demons if you keep going back to the same ones.  It is one of the main reasons I moved. Don’t let your friends and families expectations limit you. 

I don’t have to conform to anybody’s expectations. I was able to create a new life for myself and leave a past of fuck ups and bad decisions behind me.  I didn’t have to conform to what people knew me as growing up. California is also a lot more liberal in many ways. People out here are allowed to be who they are and who they want to be.

Everyone here is an artist, model, or has some kind of aspiration above and beyond what they are currently doing. The community is stronger for that reason, and the support from strangers is something you don’t get in the Jersey/Philly area. Too much hate.

I don’t have to answer to anybody. I have complete and utter freedom. I’ve surrounded myself with a few good people, and I’ve stayed away from toxic situations. No bad influences.

I have gained my confidence back. It was dwindling at home. I was ashamed of who I was becoming. I felt like I was taking the cowards way out. I have made better music then I was ever making back east. I am working out again. I am pushing myself to be better every day. I don’t feel like I am “settling” anymore. I have a purpose when I wake up in the morning. Every day is a positive one, and I am happy to be alive.

To anyone that is considering a move to another state, another country, another city, here is my advice. If you are in an unhappy place or situation, you are already living your worst case scenario. I knew that if I went to California and failed, I could move back home and go right back into car sales. I was living my worst nightmare.

Take a chance. Make your move. Put your fucking flag into the ground and claim your spot. Don’t take no. If you want to make it happen, you will.

Keep following my blog for updates on my music, my life, and other shenanigans.

www.thatboyab.com

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Photo: This Shot of Charlie Manuel Leaving Citizens Bank Park is Really Sad

This is why we love sports. The emotional connection we have to this picture is only something a true Philadelphia sports fan can feel. After a season to forget, Charlie Manuel walks out of Citizens Bank Park for the last time. In sports, we love an underdog. We love a winner. Charlie built one of the scrappiest teams in baseball during his time with the Phillies. Dare I say over his tenure, the Phillies OVERACHIEVED in many aspects. They played hard for Charlie and they RESPECTED him. Sad to see him go. Trust that Philadelphia will never forget Charlie Manuel and everything he brought to the organization, and I know I speak for everyone when I say, simply, “Thank You.”

The Response to Kendrick

Two days ago Kendrick Lamar shook up the hip-hop world with one verse. He called out his peers. He crowned himself “King of NY.” He left some big names off his list. And, oh yea… he EASILY out shined everybody on the track with him.
Here is a look at some of the reactions from other hip-hop artists in the Twitter world. Classic!

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